Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Preparing for terrible 1's??

Just a few tot questions for one crazy about to pull her hair out mom:
I have always said my kid will mind. And he will. I don't want a devil child. I know he is a boy, and boys will be boys but minding is another topic. I am ecspeically crazy when we go to other people's homes because we have rules at our house and so do other people and I do NOT want my child acting like a untrained monkey who escaped the dang zoo. SOoooooo

1. How do you get a 13 month old to NOT scream bloody murder for something he wants. I mean he can't talk complete sentences? He signs but some things dont' have signs (or I dont' know them) so how oh how can I get him to not scream bloody murder in Target while everyone is looking at me waiting for me to beat my child all OVER a puff?? Yep How?

2. I am a strong believer in the saying "Pick your battles"! (you know, make sure if you are going to bring up harsh things or say harsh things it worth the battle) I do this with the husband, family, co-workers, friends, etc. Do you follow this same rule with your toddler?? Do you pick and choose what he can play with .....picture frames, shampoo bottles, spoons outta the dishwasher?

3. How often do little boys really need baths?? I mean, wont it dry their skin out in the winter? Serious...I always see these clean, spiffed up little boys and I am seriously wondering how in the heck that happens. We are lucky to have matching socks when we leave in the morning

4. Are fish sticks, chicken nuggets, pizza and corn a nutritious diet? I thought so too...

Thanks for the help...please answer honestly! (like do you really bath your kid every night..really)


Emily said...

You're a few months ahead of us but I have the same questions. My neighbor does a really good job with her toddler. She really likes the book Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood (or something like that). I read it and like parts, don't like other parts, but in general like the idea of redirection. When your child does something he shouldn't you redirect him to an appropriate activity. And when he does something dangerous or truly thought out and naughty he gets logical consequences.

And from what I hear, sometimes you just have to let your kid have the tantrum, leave if they're not behaving and hope that people realize every kid has bad days.

Anonymous said...

Ditto Love and Logic!

To answer the questions...I dint think you can stop him from screaming about what he wants. You can say 'inside voice' or whatever, but it will be awhile till he gets it. I definitely pick my battles (Isaac loves spoons out of the dishwasher lol) and we give him a bath every other day. A warm wash cloth works wonders for a messy face though! And Isaac loves bread and cheese, but I give him meat veggies and fruit before I give him and bread at a meal to make sure he's at least getting some good stuff!

Also, something that I've read that stuck out to cannot control your children. You can control yourself - your reactions and responses to them - and you can teach them how to control themselves and help them control themselves. But trying to control them is a losing battle.

Good luck - I'm sure you are doing great! :)

Leah said...

Considering the fact that my own mother chose to reprimand my methods of raising Isaac, I will defer to Emily and Kristal.

I can comment on the bath. We only give Isaac a bath 2-3 times a week. And really, the 3 has only happened a few times. :)

Amy said...

I ignore him when he tantrums. A this age, most are due to either communciation issues or not getting what they want/trying to test you. You have to be consistant in whatever it is you choose. Redirection is what we use a lot and if he's flailing on the ground, i ignore it and move on. He tends to do the same.I'm not givng him the reaction he wants!

Love and logic is good from what i hear too.

We do baths most nights but there are some that we just don't have the time or me, the engery! I do it when i can because he is old enough not to get totally dried out and we use tons of lotion after bath and when i get him dressed in the am!

Wiping his face is a no-go unless we are in the bath, he will NOT let me do it so we do baths most nights!

Lyr said...

Haha! Oh the life of having boys! Try two!! Most of my friends have girls so they have no idea why my life is like because BOYS ARE so different!! As a mother of a three year old crazy wild child, I can try to give you some tips that worked for me...

1. What worked for me, might not work for you./ When Jayden started to throw a fit in a store (and he rarely does it anymore) I would stop the cart take him out, get down to his level and get complete eye contact. This normally would get his attention. Then I would ask him what was wrong. By then he had gotten my attention and didn't really want for anything. From my experiance... all they wanted was mommy's attention. Try that.

2. I think whatever you don't want him to play with... you should stick to your guns on. If you give in once with something you don't want him to play with he will contiune to push the limits.

3. I think parents go over board on the bath thing. If you kids has been inside all day and he's not dirty, Don't give him a bath. There is no need and yes, it does dry out their skin. Jayden has terribly dry skin and my pediatrican said to give him less baths.

4. Never beat yourself up about what they are eating. I did that for the LONGEST time. I was told by my doctor that between the ages of 1-4 kids will be picky and eat maybe only two meals a day. They are learning what they like. I would make sure that at dinner you are giving him what you and daddy are eating, but he won't eat it all. It's ok. My kid eats chicken nuggets ALL THE TIME.

I hope that helps! I'm not trying to act like I know it all... I just know what it's like to have a little boy. Each kids is different and you'll learn that more and more and you have more kids. :)

Jane said...

In my experience kids will generally eat what their body needs,at least enough of whatever to keep from being hungry,maybe offering more fruit would be some help. as for the bath thing,if their dirty they need a bath,if not let it go.blessings Jane

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