Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Crying it out

Sleep training?? There are so many opinions and so many books and so many ways to sleep train your child. I am curious to hear how you sleep trained? (if you are a mom), How you think you would sleep train (if you aren't a mom yet) or really any opinion on sleep training.
Here's a little back story:
Last week after tube surgery, Tucker laid down in bed each night and put himself to sleep. Well lets go even farther back. Tucker has always slept great except when he is sick. And when he is sick I think he needs a little TLC so I let him sleep beside me. I mean when you have a baby with constant ear pain, RSV, pneumonia all within 6 months all you want for that baby is to not be in pain. So back to last week. Well had a very busy weekend this week so he has been way off schedule and now wont lay in bed and put himself to sleep anymore. So its time for sleeping training. Now, through this sleep training we are cutting teeth and he is going through separation anxiety and wants to be with momma all the time (which I love)! So I hear if you stay consistent for 3 nights, your baby will learn to put himself back to sleep again.

Last night was night one: I laid Tucker in bed and he did the usual talking and playing and rolling around...only this time he sat up crying instead of just falling asleep like the previous week. So after he cried for a couple minutes (2 to be exact) I went in his room, covered him up, layed him back down and patted his bottom until he was calm. After this I left the room. He cried again.
This time I timed him for 5 minutes then repeated the steps above....he cried
I went back in and repeated steps and let him cry for 6 minutes.
I waited again and then repeated the steps and this time he fell asleep to me patting his bottom. After he is asleep, he sleeps through the night and never makes a peep again.

yes, I love to rock my baby and pat him to sleep, but I think its important for them to know their bedroom, love it and love to sleep in there. Besides its easier on mom:)

So I think it went well. The only concern I have is HOPEFULLY he wont need me to pat him to sleep and he will learn when he hits the bed, its sleep time.

So I know people let them cry it out totally, which is a good method, but my heart breaks when he cries and gets all choked up from crying so hard. So I am going in, at least laying my hand on him to let him know he is safe, and its ok to fall asleep. I have heard this works also.

I will update with every night we try this...but until then I would love to hear your methods and advice.


Anonymous said...

Well, I have very strong feelings against CIO so I may not be the person you want responding but...

I hate CIO. Yes, it is effective, but it's effective for a sad reason - a relationship between a mom and child is formed and based on the child learning that mom responds to baby's needs and begins to trust that response. So when a baby cries and mom doesn't respond, that trust is broken. So the child learns that mom isn't going to respond to his needs. :(. That especially holds true in a child as young as your little guy. He is still a baby and still needs a responsive mommy.

The book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" is a great resource for helping you and your little man figure out a way to get him to bed at night without the tears. :)

Jessica said...

I totally recommend the book "The Baby Whisper" It helped me a TON getting Lucy back on track and starting Penny off on the right foot!

It sounds like you have a good handle on it though... Remember, Tucker is YOUR baby. You know him best, and will do whats right for HIM. :-)

Good Luck!

Erin said...

We haven't had to do any formal sleep training yet, but I have read an embarrassing number of sleep books because I find it fascinating :)

I really liked Ferber's book (Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems) - beyond the "progressive waiting" approach, it includes a ton of information on sleep cycles and sleep associations. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is another good one. I've read Baby Whisperer as well, but thought the other 2 contained more actual information about sleep.

I think there is a really fine balance between responding to your child's needs versus helping them to learn to fall asleep on their own, which is VERY important in the long run. In a lot of cases, it probably is quite possible to change sleep associations and find the right window for sleep without a lot of crying - Ferber's book would be really helpful to learn more about that.

All that being said, my baby does frequently have a few minutes of crying/protesting/fussing before falling asleep on her own, but I KNOW that when I rush to her immediately she just gets more upset and worked up. Jessica is right - you know your own baby the best, and can probably tell if the cries will escalate or if he will settle down on his own!

Good luck - I look forward to hearing more about how it goes for you!

Amy said...

I can't do the full fledge CIO, plus brady is stubborn and will cry for hours if i'd let him.

we are dealing with many of the same issue, sitting up in the cirb, wanting mommy....and we have had our fair share of sleep issues and the only thing that worked for me is consistancy, and i mean consistancy for the morning and night routine. i had a bigger issue though that we have several difference peopel that watch him during the week and once i got everyone on the same schedule things got better.

im not big on 'methods' and books that tell you what to do because i dont think all things work for all babies but i really liked some of the stuff in the sleep tight, sleep lady book (i think author is kim west) and she has a section about sick kids. i didn't do the whole thing she recommended but a lot of the things that she said helped!!

Michele said...

I could never let my kids CIO. It was too painful to listen to. I tried to convince myself that every child eventually sleeps thru the night but then I realized I am married to a man that has never in his life slept thru the night!