Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Stuff your grandma didn't tell you...part2

Remember this post...The Stuff your grandma didn't tell you...well here we go again!

I LOVE being a mom...love love love it! And I can remember people telling me how Fun, exciting, joyful, and what a blessing it would be. Well it is all those things times 10! Seriously, best feeling in the world. But there is always a BUT. There are all those things your grandmas did not tell you about motherhood......

Your chest..it grows and grows and grows during pregnancy. If fact, you walk with your head held a littler high because your confidence is soring!!! You love your big ol'chest and become pretty proud of it. Well then you have this beauitful child and gravity hits. All of a sudden that perfect chest you had is now in the way, and something is horribly wrong. You head is no longer held high because either they have dried up like the dessert, or they are now touching your belly button. Support never felt so GOOD!

And speaking of gravity...your butt now meets your legs. No cute curves..just one big leg

Swimsuit shopping after a baby. WOW..nobody warned me about this one. All I can say is buy one of those black intertubes at walmart to wear as bottoms and your husbands shirt as your top. Thats the best you will find.

Sleep. thats all I have to say...hope you like to be awake ALOT

Everytime you laugh after a baby...you will probaly pee yourself a little. Its true. Others might not admit it but it happens.

You skin changes. Your belly, even those who work hard to get back to prebaby, don't look the same. You know when you were little and grandma made oatmeal real lumpy...you get the picture right?

And not only your belly..weird moles and freckles appear outta nowhere!

Your house is never clean ever again...ever

Your friday night trips to Wal Mart are seriously the highlight of the week....even if you hate it!

You almost need to rock yourself to sleep at night after you rock the baby.

I now buy stock in Folgers coffee, baby einstein, tylenol and teething rings.

NO matter when you sit down to eat, your baby is hungry. I dont' care if he/she just ate...he/she is hungry. I promise..try it..always hungry. (great diet plan though)

You used to dream about having a huge house with pretty kitchen, anique furniture and now I am thinking if they make a plastic dinning room table I am buying it!!!!

Your husband and yourself often use words like bye bye, momma, dadda and you catch yourself singing "twinkle twinkle" or "Jesus loves me" often.

There are times I think I am stretch armstong in the car..find the pacie, then try to place the pacie in the babies mouth while driving in work traffic.

Your talks with girlfriends have gone from beer drinking, bars and guys..... to hemroids, scars and poop.

too be continued monday......


Disclaimer:
This is made to be funny and get laughs. I tried and cried many tears before Tucker and I am very blessed. This is just for humor, so no body get those size large(after baby) panties in a wad. And I wouldnt' want it any other way...ok maybe some gravity back in my butt and chest :)

106 comments:

Hannah said...

Where did you get that from? It's really cute, and pretty accurate as well :)

Kim @ NewlyWoodwards said...

You are so funny. This is hilarious.

But, it's not helping me feel ready for baby. ;)

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

Okay seriously, how did I get so blessed to have the majority of these things and not have a child? I've got the baby pooch, no butt-just giant leg...I guess I'm out of order!

Amy said...

SO SO true!!!

Amy said...

oh, and in response to my post :) canned green beans work wonders. they are like the bestest thing in the world to him! I get salt free though.

brocolli is a hit too. sucks the trees off the stalks!
mesh teethers are awesome too!

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